READ: TWENTY HATEteen
It’s been a wonderful year altogether and its just been 6 days in. Tweeps, ladies especially, have decided to drag each other by the bumbum to expose themselves on twitter for the sake of superiority; the usual competition among the black race.
Today’s event was on a whole new level. I woke up this morning feeling like Today is a good day being the first saturday of the year, and most likely one of those quiet Pay days. Then wind of gist from twitter caught me like the Holy Spirit. I’ll recommend you, yes you the read to be seated for this.
A wedding that was scheduled to hold today was cancelled (not postponed, CANCELLED)the day before. Groom to be called grooms men to announce the cancellation. Very Shocking something oo, I was now like “What cause fight?”.
“Wifey to be was few weeks pregnant ni o and its not for bobo”
“Okay now, was DNA done ni for that kind of confirmation?”, I asked.
“Rara oo!!! Bobo is adamant that he has never touched aunty at all throughout the entire relationship”.
This borders on #Menarescum, #Womenarescum battle going on since last year on twitter. Where marriages have broken down because of the hashtag, private matters aired on a 4billion user community platform just for the sake of retweets, followers, and go viral. Y’all better grow up. Receiving advise from someone you know nothing about his or her love life, someone you’ve never seen before, but because he has huge following and his siding with, you become stoopid and ruin your life. The advisor that will not even end his/her marriage/relationship when the same issue arises in his/her home.
Yes! Life is short. Yes! No time to check time. Then, no one said happiness was easy to come by and maintain. The same way you struggle to earn a living is the same way you struggle to maintain your happiness. Yes oo. Now that its obvious that the message is inclined towards forgiveness by the groom, edakun, its not.
Madam refused uncle cookie either due to virginity or celibacy (don’t know which, but its either of both) and somebody somewhere is vigorous servicing her like a tiger generator; changing her oil, changing her plugs and washing the corners of the engine ring, while bros was hoping for Na me get am after wedding. She did not only get serviced outside, she was still stoopid to have it unprotected, meaning, its not a one time something (*dries single tear*). Aunty is not well oo.
So far they are not married, the way forward is obvious; they are not married, so no vows yet, uncle has forgiven her, and she has earned the right to start a life with the one responsible for the pregnancy. Baba dodge a bullet (his village people are in support of his future).
As both parties (neither of which I’m related to) are there licking their wounds, I will just sit back, sip my coffee, and wait for the next twitter sub, because I guaranty you, its right around the corner.
PS. Follow me on twitter and instagram @omobabapension.. Me i wee kudu follow back. Life is not hard.